AloNeInDaRkNeSs (aloneindarkness) wrote,
AloNeInDaRkNeSs
aloneindarkness

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my fucking life

i kinda notise i have no life. no life at all.like seriously tell is this a life. wake up dress to go to school .go through school then lift then go home to stare at a computer then sleep to do it all over again ....o then here comes the weekend even more !bullshit! wake up and star at a screen all day having ppl telling me what they going to do and what they did ...yeah making me feel alot beter ......... i dont even hang out much ........i lift ....why do i lift i dont know mmmmmm for wrestling cause i know its not to get girls cause girls dont like me either way they just like me as the big strong nice guy......sometimes i feel like not being the nice guy iAM .....going back to the quitwe agnoring everyone i know like they used to do to me when i was a kid........errrrrrrahhhhhh

now look its momarial weekend were iam home home FUCKING HOME like everyweekend .....while ppl i know are clubing going to abyss .... who do you sits in a room for 3 days listening to music laying in bed woundering what other people are doing wishing you could be their with them or wishing you could be "INVITED" .and then come outta your room for food and and to go to the bathroom and shower.

then i got friends but i got different kinds friends the ones you say hi to online and they never answer back ....the ones that you im and have somewhat of a convo and long convos that you only see in school or speacial acasions likea party ...but alovid hanging out with you ...then the ones that tell you everything their doing and never invite you ....or friends that you hang out with like 1 day and never see them again



you know theirs that saying ..."live your life to the fullest cause you dont know when your going to die"

but to me its like iam dead all ready

i soo wish i could be hanging out right now
just walk around and have this diegressing convosation
being in a club right now soo badly
or dring with my friends at their house
or even just drive around

anything better then what i do every freaking day

i just wish i was someone else but me ...................
someone whos cool everyone likes ...someone whos not afraid
someone who couls speak their mind someone who could keep up a convo
someone who can get that girl of their dreams


some people say iam cool.... iam the man ..... i wish i was big like you ... the nicest guy....... good friend ... best friend..........smart lol....... funny? ...... strong .... athletic ...... touth ..... and strong huarted only cause i have nuttin to live for ...............

but only if you knew what i was from the inside
scary.... lonely....alone....unwanted.....unloved ............

yeah well ..................... who cares

i swear i express my self in the most confusing way ......lol
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